I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
