If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
