I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
