When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
