found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
