At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
