Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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