He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
