even my farts smell like vagina
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize