last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's blow job season.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
