so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
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SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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