If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
