shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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