In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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