please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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