I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
