It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize