it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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