Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
