There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
we should paint friendship bongs
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