woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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