Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize