Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
