Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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