I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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