brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
