Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize