After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
