I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
