as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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