I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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