Kiss
Puke
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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