No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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