insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
