I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize