how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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