who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize