Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
