do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
