Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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