he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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