we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
