Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And then he peed in my hair
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