He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
