i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
