do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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