Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
