so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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