tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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