I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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