I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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