Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
