Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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