omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
