She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
