You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
