I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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