Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
