good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
