so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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