Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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