its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
