Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
