you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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