Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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